bangstilinski:

my parents thought they were naming me something unique, but really they just signed me up for a life with a misspelled, mispronounced, never finding on a coke bottle name

(via itsstuckyinmyhead)

anchors-awaysailor:

Things Girls Have To Do In The Shower:
-shave
-shampoo hair
-condition hair
-wash the face (have you ever tried to get makeup off)
-wash the body
-try to get conditioner out & fail to get it all out
-did i mention shave that takes a long time
-like summon satan and stuff

Things Boys Have To Do In The Shower:
-i dunno i think my brother uses soap sometimes

Don’t complain when my shower’s not 5 minutes long

(via ademigodgirl)

  • my wedding vows: MY EX MAN BROUGHT HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND SHE'S LIKE "OH MY GOD" BUT I'M JUST GONNA SHAKE AND TO THE FELLA OVER THERE *points at new husband* WITH THE HELLA GOOD HAIR WON'T YOU COME ON OVER BABY WE COULD SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE!

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